Holding Out for a Hero
Five Steps to Marriage Over 40

“Where serendipity meets pragmatism on the pathway to love, this is an enchanting book both for united souls and those souls still looking for a mate. The author Lesley Lawson Botez engages us in with her well written personal journey of love, heartache and love again. We are then taken through the psychology of finding a ‘hero’, brilliantly illustrated by her exercise and the case studies. If finding a ‘hero’ is a challenge for you, this superb book will wake you up to the notion that your ‘hero’ could be closer than you think. It encourages you to re-think, re-evaluate, and re-position you to find your hero, at any age!”

— Dr Yvonne Thompson CBE, Author of 7 Traits of Highly Successful Women on Boards.


lesley-lawson-botez-holding-out-for-a-hero-3d-570x762This book contains the 40+ bride’s secret to marriage.

At 40+ you have a good job, plenty of friends, a lovely home. Life is good except for one thing: you have not met your life partner. You face lonely evenings and a feeling of being the odd one out. There is no one to share life’s ups and downs. There are fewer opportunities to meet new people. You keep repeating the same mistakes.

It’s not too late. Join me, psychologist and 40+ bride, and dozens of couples who share their stories, exercises and tips on a five-step journey to relationship bliss. You will learn relationship skills as you gain a new perspective. Are you ready?

Step I: The call takes you through making space for a partner to enter your life, to taking responsibility in your relationships, identifying your must-haves and  re-looking your home.

Step II: Out into the world, initial success recommends you do things differently. It identifies the best meeting places both online and face to face.

Step III: The central crisis is truly the heart of the matter. After Step II above, you have met someone and are asking yourself if this relationship has potential or should be dropped. Step III gives you the keys to avoiding future disappointments.

Step IV: Serious challenges. At 40+ you face issues like sharing your living space, children – yours and others – and sharing finances. This step shows you how to navigate through tricky waters.

Step V: Final union and fulfillment looks at whether to marry or not, commitment and regrets and the wedding ceremony.

Reading at the Société de Lecture Book Fair, May 2016 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4kV_P66meT21aZ31yzm5-g

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What people are saying:

Heartfelt and thorough, honest and funny, Lesley Lawson Botez’s Holding Out for a Hero is a sweet-natured but sensible guide to romance over 40. Jonathan Barnes, author of The Somnambulist and The Domino Men.

Holding Out for a Hero is accessible to a wide variety of readers, both men and women. It contains examples and case studies that are thought-provoking. All in all the book reminds us that there is always hope, but that we need to be open and willing to recognize it. Dr Sigrid Newman, University of Cologne.

A delightful read, full of charming anecdotes, subtle British humour, and much straightforward good advice. “Enjoy the experience,” writes the author. I certainly did. Peter St John, author of the “Gang” series.

Lesley Lawson Botez has written an excellent book about marriage over 40. By deftly combining her personal experience with the experience of countless others, along with relevant exercises, she has created an informed guidebook not only to marriage over 40 but to romance over 40. Her own love story is a delight to read. The proposed path, with five steps, is traced with her professional hand as a psychologist. And the whole is written with fine craft, humour and love. Susan Tiberghien, author of Looking for Gold, A Year in Jungian Analysis and One Year to a Writing Life.